Exploring My Writing Journey 1 | Education
Hi! It’s been four months since my last post here and I’d like to share a few things before diving into the topic of education.
For the past three months, I’ve been studying English to enhance my skills, especially in speaking and writing by taking an English course. It’s been a fantastic experience and I’ve gained a lot of new insights. So far, I’ve written more than 15 documents on various topics, and I’d love to share them here. However, since most of them are related to the IELTS writing test, they might not interest everyone. Therefore, I’ll carefully curate the pieces I post here.
Most of my writing took 30–40 minutes and I wasn’t allowed to consult any external resources, so these pieces are purely based on my own experiences, knowledge, and opinions. I also post them here without editing them first, except for the opening and closing. That’s why I’d like to include “Exploring My Writing Journey” in the title to distinguish them from my other writing, which took more time and incorporated some ideas from external resources.
Let’s start with the first one, which is about education. Check it out!
Education is a vital aspect of human life that continually evolves. Many countries invest a significant portion of their financial resources into the educational sector, indicating that education must adapt to the changing needs of various industries. Currently, online learning platforms, virtual reality, and artificial intelligence provide new ways to access knowledge. As a result, traditional classrooms may evolve into more flexible learning environments. This allows students to learn at their own pace and engage with global resources.
However, every change brings challenges. These issues are related to funding allocation, technological advancements, and community engagement. Education can not stand alone, it requires a comprehensive approach for successful implementation. Collaboration among policymakers, educators, and the community is essential to ensure the smooth execution of these changes.
Therefore, I am confident that the future of education will transform alongside technological progress. Nevertheless, achieving the best outcomes for future generations will necessitate concerted effort and collaboration across various sectors.
Overall, that’s my writing about education. My tutor mentioned that it could be longer since it consists of only three paragraphs, and the second paragraph has just four sentences. Additionally, starting the second paragraph with “however” might not be ideal for an opening sentence. Moreover, the third paragraph begins with “therefore,” which is also less appropriate to use as the first sentence of a paragraph. My tutor suggested replacing it with a linking word typically used in conclusions, such as “to sum up,” “in conclusion,” etc.
Accordingly, if you have any feedback on my writing, please feel free to comment on this post to help me improve my writing skills. I’d love to hear others’ opinions. Thank you!
